Salmoneus

There's now a blue box hanging on the wall of the bank right next to the door. Attached to it is a piece of parchment that says:

If you need to leave a message for Salmoneus or the bank during non-business hours, please drop it here. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Make sure to leave a place in town that I can contact you. Thanks very much!

Salmoneus unlocked the back door with a weary sigh and stepped into his tiny apartment. Dropping his bag on the floor, he looked around at the place. It wasn't much. Just his bed, a table and chair, a tiny kitchenette (as someone had called it), and a desk. A small chest of drawers sat next to the bed. There really wasn't much to the place.

But it suddenly looked more home-like than where he'd just come from.

Greece, he reflected, was changing. And Thrace would never be the same.

Salmoneus dropped onto his bed and put his head in his hands. He still couldn't believe they were gone. Even after hearing Joxer tell him in a tearful voice about the way the cart went over the cliff, and how Ares took their bodies -- it wasn't real yet.

His latest letter to Gabrielle sat on the desk, where he'd forgotten it when Hermes brought him the message from Joxer.

Xena and Gabrielle dead. The banker shook his head, feeling his age and his weariness.

There was a scratching at the door to the vault room, and he looked up. He'd almost forgotten. Hermes had said he'd bring food and let her out once in a while, but for almost three weeks Fluffy (he'd finally gotten over the name) had been alone for the most part. Suddenly wanting the creature's company, he got up and opened the door.

The stench was powerful, but bearable. Fluffy nudged him in the chest, and rubbed her head against him.

"Yeah, I missed you too." He sighed and rubbed her head, wondering if hugging a Harpy was appropriate or not. "Wow, you smell. Time for you to get a bath. Want to take a walk to the park and dunk yourself in the pond tomorrow? I warn you, it'll be cold."

She didn't seem to care as she moved a little closer, her head slipping under his arm.

"Okay, then." He sniffed and shook his head. "I'm gonna have to open the door for a while so we can air this place out." Moving toward the opposite door, he opened it and peeked into the bank. It was the same as he'd left it, the radio having fallen to the floor after he turned it off. The only difference was his hastily scrawled sign that had also fallen to the floor. Wandering over, he picked it up and looked at it.

'Bank closed due to death in family'

They were dead. And for the first time, Salmoneus truly felt their loss. He crumbled the sign in his hand and let his tears fall.

Salmoneus slowly eased up into consciousness. There was a really bad smell around him, and he wrinkled his nose. Opening his eyes he saw this hideous face staring down at him. He screamed and rolled off the cot, hitting the floor with a solid thud.

When he dared to look back up, FluffyAnassa was watching him, her head tilted to the side. Now he knew where the stench was coming from.

"What are you doing in here, you overgrown vulture?" She didn't answer. It was a testament to his sobriety that he didn't really expect her to.

He suddenly was aware of several things. 1)The door was open from the back of the vault to his private room. He NEVER left that door open. 2)He was still in the clothes he'd worn last night. And 3)His head hurt. A lot.

He put his hands over his eyes and winced. The sunshine was coming in the window, lighting up the harpy with an aura that seared through the banker's blood shot eyes. "How did that door get open? I always close that door." He tried to remember; did he close it when he came home? When did he get home? HOW did he get home?

Tara and Shane. They had walked him home from the bar. He remembered now; Shane had held onto him while Tara unlocked the door, and then they'd walked him through the bank to his small cot.

He wondered idly what Tara had thought of FluffyAnassa before realizing he'd had two beautiful women in his room -- and he couldn't remember anything he'd done after they got there.

His face went red and he stared at the Harpy. "Just kill me now."

After successfully navigating the ray-dee-oh waves, Salmoneus was feeling pretty good about himself.

He had music in the shop; music he didn't understand, but it was music and he didn't even have to pay the band. FluffyAnassa was comfortably snoring in the back after a hearty meal of raw goat. He'd finished all the bank business early, and was prepared for a peaceful evening.

Which, he'd resolved to himself, he didn't want to have.

Instead, he was going to go out. After a light supper he'd washed up and changed into his purple robes with the matching purple fez. With his grey hair combed back, he looked suave or even, should he say it, debonair. And he was ready.

It was time to check out the night life of Fandom Town, and the new bar, Caritas, was where he'd start.

Besides -- he had a plan to work on.

With a smile and a tip of his hat to the sleeping harpy, I'm NOT calling her Fluffy! he slipped out the door.

In the back of the bank, Salmoneus sits looking at a bunch of small papers, each with a name on it. After tossing out suggestions like Princess, Beauty, Kitten, Fluffy, and Spot, he's left with the following names:

( Lucretia, Porche, Mercedes, Bertha, Clothilde, Matilda, Hathor, Anassa, Cordelia, and Alianora. )

Salmoneus sits writing letters on parchment. He finishes one and puts it aside with a smile that disappears as he contemplates what to write on the second.

( Dear Xena, )


( Dear Lord Hades, )

After finishing the letters, Salmoneus set them aside to send back to Greece. He fed the Harpy the leg of goat he'd gotten at the new butcher's in town, and watched her happily feeding. Then, with an almost contented sigh, he headed outside to open the bank.

It's Monday morning, and Salmoneus is sitting down to make notes while eating breakfast. In the background, there is a soft humming noise.


Notes
1) Get food. This is becoming a priority since I'm out of goat's milk, cheese, and fruit.

2) Revise the exchange rate notice. Hades didn't like the dinar rate.

3) Find meat for the harpy. That stag is getting very ripe.

4) Set up contest for naming the harpy. Maybe I can get a gift certificate for the diner? Need to talk to Deb.

5) Send notices to all account holders to let them know the zombies didn't eat their money. (Do zombies really only eat brains? Yuck! No wonder they smell so bad.)

After finishing his notes, he raises his cup in a salute to the harpy and drinks the last of his milk. He wrinkles his nose a litte, as it had started to go a little sour. Reminding himself again that he must go to what passed for a market in this town, he stood, stretched, and prepared to open the bank.

He was still amazed that in this day people actually gave others their money to hold for them. But, he reflected, with it being paper instead of coin, it was better to put it in a vault than the old water barrels most warlords used.

Making sure his robe was neat, he opened the door into the vault area, where the harpy slept. The humming became clearer, and even Salmoneus had to smile at the curled up creature who was crooning softly in its sleep.

He woke it by placing the last of the slightly ripe stag in front of it, and whistled a strange tune as he headed towards the front of the building to open the bank.

There was a strange bell-like sound through the building and he looked around. It rang again and again, then finally stopped. Salmoneus shook his head. One day I'll figure out what that noise is.

Dear Gabrielle,

Well, I'm back in Fandom Town. It's a nice place, I guess, or what I've seen of it is. I didn't get much of a chance to look around last time. Between zombies and then Hades calling me, and then, well, cleaning. . . do you know how long it takes to get zombie goo out of a carpet? Especially when it's been ground in by a large harpy happily hopping around and tearing pieces out of dead bodies? It took weeks just to get the smell out.

Yes, we got attacked by zombies. I killed lots of them. Had this great big sword and just went swinging it, blam, blam! Zombie parts everywhere!

Yeah, I don't believe me either.

Okay, so actually, I hid for most of the attack. (I'm a coward, you know, it's what I do. Just ask Xena.) But I did get to hit one zombie over the head. It actually startled him for a moment. Then he put his hands to my throat and Red jumped on him and killed him.

Red, by the way, runs a tattoo parlor. He thinks I'd look good with a pierced ear, and I can't believe I'm actually thinking of taking him up on the offer! He's the Mayor now. I missed the election, but I'm glad for him. He's a great thing guy.

As for how long I'll be here, Hades didn't say. I don't know why he's upset with me; I mean I did apologize for trying to pawn his helmet of darkness. How was I supposed to know it was the real thing and not a fake? Except of course for how I disappeared when I put it on.

So, I now run a bank for him at his order request. He tells me that gods need money too, especially in this modern day. It's not so bad. I have the harpy for company, and I'm ready to re-open the place. I think I'm going to hold a contest to see if anyone wants to help me name the harpy.

This time isn't so bad, and there's this new fangled machine you'd love. It makes letters on parchment without a quill! I kid you not!

I hope this letter finds you and Xena well. Tell Tall-Dark-and-Deadly not to do anything foolish. If Hades will let you, you should come for a visit. You'll love the book shop.

Your friend,
Salmoneus

A good day, I think. I met some interesting people, exchanged a few credits. Not bad.

I also have three new account holders, which is always good news.

*marks in his ledger* Red from Red's. Interesting thing guy. Might have to think about taking him up on his offer of the piercing. *tugs at his ear* I remember a few fellows back in Greece had them and they didn't look too bad. Something to consider.

*makes another mark* I'll have to drop by the diner soon and say hi to Debbie. She's a hoot, and besides, it's always a good idea to support the customers so they can give me more money. Wonder how the food is.

*a third notation* The Bada-Bing sounds interesting. I'm not sure what it is, though. Tony Soprano seems to be something of a warlord in his own right, and I've never had good luck with any of them. Don't know why, I mean, I never did anything to bother them. Okay, so I sold those talgamite swords to what's his name, and they melted in the rain. *shrugs* Wasn't my fault the weatherman was wrong.

Overall, a pretty good day, I thought. Got rid of twelve bottles of Seltzer, which is good. Hopefully it will all be gone before the next shipment comes.

I wonder if Tony would like some Seltzer for the Bada-Bing...? Hmm....

Oh, Grand Opening is tomorrow and I still have so much to do. The counters are finished, though, and the vault is in. They tell me it's impossible to break into, but I'm not so sure. I think I should just be grateful Autolycus isn't around.

That reminds me, I still need to advertise for some help. A few tellers -- oh, and a new security guard. That Harpy Hades lent me is great, but I'm afraid she'll scare the customers -- or eat them.

Now, I'll have to give some thought to savings accounts, and these things they call checks. They seem much like the payment chits they used to give out to the military men. I'm not so clear on these 'debit' things, however. The one I saw didn't look like it was worth anything at all; it was just this flimsy card made of some mildly bendable material.

I still have to post business hours. Banker's hours are supposed to be 9 to 5, but I don't know that the kids at school could get down here early enough... hmm. Better make it 10 to 6, just to give them that extra hour.

*Makes sign that says: Grand Opening! One free bottle of Seltzer to the first twenty customers! Come on in and get yours today!*

That'll do. Now to go find this Boarding House I've heard of, this Realm Epithumia. Sleeping on my desk is hard on the back - plus I keep rolling over on the little stamp things and I wake up with BILLED or CANCELLED printed on my cheek.

*Throws a pound of ground beef to the Harpy, then locks door behind him and goes off to find the Boarding House*


[OOC: As I'm on the west coast, and work most of the day, it'll be a little difficult to post earlier than about 8 eastern time, but I'll do my best to watch for comments during the day at work. By the way, I'm a total newbie at this and not really sure of what I'm doing. Let me know if you have suggestions or comments. Thanks!]